• baby: A-a
  • mom: Apple? Say apple.
  • baby: *jumps*
tagged → #portal 2

elation-success:

mydogsnokes:

i miss when i was like 12 and it would be the night before a big field trip or something and i couldnt go to sleep because i was so excited. i miss being so into a book that i would stay up past my bed time reading it. everything seems so bland or something idk. i’m only 19 and everything is so tiring. i miss wanting to be awake

this is the realist shit on this website

fagblogger:

damn orange is the new black is crazy af

tagged → #kitty cats
thesquirrelisonfire:

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND MY BERRIES

thesquirrelisonfire:

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND MY BERRIES

communistbakery:

I hate when my teachers lower my test scores… it’s so degradeing

caabaaret:

My text conversations with my closest friends usually involve 5 minutes of witty banter and a few pictures and then we don’t talk for weeks

firelorcl:

i scare people lots because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me enter rooms so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

teamrocketing:

*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world